Mozart, Picasso and DD …

This pen (and keyboard) is to me what the piano was to Mozart and the paint brush to Picasso. It is both my sheet of music and canvas, in which I curate my artistic masterpieces. It is my best friend and enemy, because it comforts and convicts me in the midst of every engagement. I pour out my soul, share my vulnerabilities and then reconstruct my world and gain strength in its presence. I am thankful for this covenant I have made with God and myself to write, create, and to publish my heart to the world.

I can only write about those things I feel and know to be true for me. So, when I go deep into the abyss of my soul to share what’s hidden in there, it is always done with extreme caution and discretion. Each time I write, I break little pieces of me off in between the sentences, leaving trails of Dee-crumbs for you to consume while following me … deeper, into me. This blog entry will be no different.

Let me set the scene…I’m listening to the album “Hiding” by Freddie Joachim, with Cedar Wood and Lavender essential oils billowing from my diffuser in soft circles around my bouquet of white, purple, and pink Hydrangeas that sit beside my glass of red wine on the nightstand. I am relaxed but feeling sultry. Vibing out, I pull back my memory rolodex and ride my most passionate experiences on the Ferris wheel of my thoughts. I mentally and emotionally look back on them with a satisfactory cognizance. Vigilantly examining the people and places where loved once dwelled.

Ya’ll, I have a confession… I love, love (if you haven’t already noticed). Aside from being a hopeless romantic, I am intrigued and fascinated by its mastery and supremacy in all of our lives. I’ll admit… a small non-pimp tear, may fall when I witness unadulterated, fearless, and unconditional love. It is a new parent staring at their creation, it’s an adult child patiently reminding their parent who they are when Alzheimer’s stole their memories, and it is most definitely the sensory arousal of a new connection that’s budding with potential and desire. I am humbly amazed at how powerful that small four-letter word really is. Think about it…throughout every single generation, civilization and time known to man, there has been the proliferation and existence of love. It has transformed and traveled through the veins of us all, at some point in time. Its only formidable foe is time.

For when we are consumed in it and with it, time forces us to bow to its’ omnipotence as it rushes expeditiously away from us. This is when you are in the presence of someone you love, and the time literally escapes you. The gazes across pupils, the soft touches, intoxicating laughter and conversations seem to evaporate into thin nothingness. Then, when there is dissension, conflict or discord, time slows to an unexplainably absurd pace. In between conversations, texts, and thoughts, it feels like it punishes you and rakes your soul over hot coals of anticipation that slowly deplete the vigor from your soma. Time is free, but it is priceless. It is the ultimate teacher and gives the most live changing lessons.

To conquer them both, we simply have to surrender… Meaning, we must create our own standards and boundaries. This is not only to keep away unsatisfactory relations, but also to draw the right ones in. Wisely investing our time only into people who won’t waste it therefore submitting to the fullness of actualization that our time is extremely valuable. It also means that we courageously immerse ourselves in the goodness of optimism and non-resistance to all the facilities of the most powerful chemical on earth (luuuuuv!). Instead of avoiding, neglecting, and resisting it, try giving your whole self to it. Be honest, say how you really feel, share your fears and aspirations, reveal the scars, show your all your awkward and weirdness, be clingy, be open, receptive, romantic, funny, adventurous, a lil devious and your true self…for once. F%#k all the past mistakes, disappointments and epic failures and love like there is no tomorrow, because one day… there won’t be.

Learn to let go of all the reasons why you won’t let yourself surrender to that which you know you want and need…L O V E and more time.